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One plus one makes eleven. Imagine if thousands
of people turned up to support you to win. Obviously, your life
will transform. What would it take to access this support and fulfill
all your dreams?
When people hear “tap the power of others”,
most have a question “Is this about team building?” Others
look perplexed and declare it as an overhead bumper. Some try to
figure it out logically. “I put in effort, there is a result.
I effort more, I get more. Then instead of hard work, I put in ‘smart’
work, I further my performance. When I organise a team, I produce
an even greater result.” Very logical. But right now, we are
talking about a whole different domain critical for bringing forth
our untapped human potential. Let’s first examine the background.
Gifts you can never pay for
When you were a baby, you were totally dependent
on parents. They looked after all your needs and also trained you
to be independent. Let’s take a closer look at “getting
you to walk” for instance. Today, how would you get a child
to walk? Point out to another person walking, explain, demonstrate,
and try baby talk? Difficult, is it not? Especially because he does
not understand our language. Maybe, parents did all of that and
also held your finger or attracted your attention with little gifts.
The point is they succeeded and today you are walking around at
your will. The key issue is: What is it that actually gets the child
to walk? Is it all the instructions or some other component that
is critical to success? Check your own experience, if instructions
or how to do it got one to produce the results, we would all be
scoring at our exams 90 percent and above, producing software right
the first time with no bugs. Everyone could read Think and Grow
Rich and be rich.
Consider that perhaps what finally got you walking
was not just what they said or did, but the ‘powerful space’
they created. Their attitude was “you can do it”, confidence
was 100 percent and that they would not give up until you walked.
They kept encouraging, appreciating and assuring you that although
you are small and have never done it “you can”. Within
this amazingly “powerful space” you finally connected
to something within, you were drawn to attempt taking a step for
the first time. Bravo! You tried again and again and succeeded.
Failures had no significance. Each time you tried there was applause,
when you succeeded there was celebration. Somewhere you got that
you were the cause of this joy. That you were someone great. It
really boosted your self-esteem. You felt motivated to do more.
You actually caused breakthrough into new areas
like how to crawl, run, speak, study, play and so on. Then the teachers
joined in at the play school, nursery and the primary school. They
expanded the powerful space, which allowed you to blossom and all
the fundamental shifts to occur. These are at the core of who you
are today. Those who created the power space actually gave you the
“Gifts you can never ever pay for.”
Most of us never realised how untiringly the
parents worked to maintain the powerful space, often sacrificing
their own pleasures, needs and health. We took them for granted
and have never thanked them enough. On the contrary we have complaints
about what our parents did not do.
The speed-breaker
Examine the flip side of this miracle-causing
powerful environment provided by the parents. Well, we began to
firmly believe that our parent’s behaviour is the standard
human behaviour. Naturally, therefore, every human being will support
you just like the parents—they too will “be an unshakable
stand for you by providing that space in which you feel protected,
encouraged to naturally blossom and like parents, will always be
there, at your beck and call irrespective of your response, respect
or gratitude.” Moving in life with this belief is when, you
and I hit the speed breaker—“Only one mom–one dad.”
We were disappointed to realise that hardly anyone else loves us
like our parents. People behave differently. It invariably brought
forth two lines of thought. One, that something is wrong with people
because, in comparison to parents, they appear somewhat mean, selfish,
jealous, unhelpful, disgusting and not dependable. With such conclusions
came loneliness. The other line of thought was “Are they behaving
like that only with me? Maybe something is wrong with me.”
This was really painful. So one looked for friends
who would accept us the way we are and support us to win. Where
we feel important, appreciated and move ahead without fear of failure
at our own pace. The urge for that safety and comfort is so much
that we become gullible and little appreciation could get us to
do things that we are not keen to do. Many rebel against the parents
who point out that your friends have a hidden agenda.
Many of us often give up good jobs and fantastic
opportunities because we don’t find that supportive space.
Look into your life and you will find preference for options where
there is a powerful supportive space. Found it? It is to create
this power space that companies create development programmes, appreciation
schemes and role model professionals that create a direction for
team members. Leaders build teams and lead by providing the power
space. They know that within this space, people create miracles.
The missing link
If powerful space is rare, how is that some people
are so successful. As though they are always in the magic of the
powerful space and achieving just whatever they take on. Simple!
They found out the ‘Missing Link’. They found out how
to get that powerful space anytime, anywhere and with large numbers
causing it. So for everything they take on, they ensure that there
is an audience to applaud them. That people stand up for them 100
percent. Applauding and saying, “We are confident you can do
it. Go ahead we are with you”. Think for a moment. Have you
guessed how? Well! Look into your life. The moments when you felt
totally fulfilled. So what made you really happy and satisfied?
Even more than when you win. Now you got it right. It’s when
you did something for another and that too without any expectation
of reward or return. Doing it just to express yourself. Well that
is the fundamental nature of human beings and true of each and every
one of us. Most of us will be willing to do anything to have another
win, provided he has requested us for our support.
What would it take?
If you got what we discussed, you are on. So
just get off your hesitation.
Humbly make that request for support. Seeking
support does not mean that you are weak or small. Also be clear
that if your request is turned down, it does not mean that you have
failed. It just means that you are learning and it did not land
at the right place. Be willing to play. That is to rethink and try
again.
Share you goal and what achieving it would means
for you, your life and your family. Share how you are working on
it, struggling but committed.
When it is accepted, please maintain transparency,
keep your promise, and provide regular feedback. Ensure you thank
each time and the person experiences in some way that it his project
also. Trust him; involve him/them in major decision and progress
like you would update a partner. Keep away from ego. Never forget
that powerful support is the oxygen in which your flame of success
will light up.
This way you can tap the power of others. Invite
them to be partners, supporters and powerful space creators. All
along thank your parents that they handheld you through your growing
years. Now you know, you can create this power on your own. Instead
of one mom, one dad and a few others you could have the entire management,
the friends group, an entire professional body, the entire town.
You name it and get it. There is no dearth of people. Just step
forward.
Happy tapping others for creating power space.
The next episode reveals “The ultimate secret of ongoing success?”
A D Narula has a passion for transforming lives.
Over the last three decades he has been associated with 200 companies
and touched the lives of 25,000 people through his programmes. E-mail:
ad4gen@hotmail.com
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